Please, let there never be a Yelp or a Tripadvisor for garden tours  by  Elizabeth Licata

I know some people hate this; I can see it in their faces.

I was just reading about visitors to Sequoia National Park and Yellowstone leaving 1 star reviews for the natural attractions because they didn’t have a great meal at the cafeteria, or, as the reviewer would call it, the “crappy lodge.” (DO click on this compilation of such reviews; it is hilarious.)

Then I checked the TA and Yelp sites and only found three or four adulatory general comments about Garden Walk Buffalo on Yelp. BUT, what if people zeroed in on individual gardens and said the kinds of horrible things some say when they go to such monumental and amazing places as the Grand Canyon? Stuff like this: “let me tell you, it’s a big ole waste of time! There was dirt EVERYWHERE, and the hiking trail was too long! Also where are the vending machines??”

I can imagine my garden receiving comments such as:

  • “Seriously? We had to wait to walk into this place because the pathway (if you can call it that) is super narrow and surrounded by overgrown weeds (or whatever, I couldn’t tell what they were). It was a good thing I didn’t trip on the stone pavers which are uneven and really need to be fixed.”
  • “Has this person ever heard of design? Color coordination? Everything is planted way too thick and plants are just jammed up against each other.”
  • “Super creepy! They have a hanging torso and other body parts made out of metal in the corner, thankfully obscured by some kind of overgrown shrub. Who would even think of making something like that and who would buy it if they did? These people, I guess.”
  • “It took us forever to find parking. They should really do something about that.”
  • “We almost didn’t walk into the garden because the front part is so boring. Just green, green, green. There were some flowers in the back, though. It was kind of worth it.”
  • “Someone should tell this owner that when hundreds of people are coming through her garden that she could at least comb her hair and have a clean shirt on.”
  • “There were no restrooms within walking distance.”

For now, I am going to assume that, as incredible as it seems in today’s world, people are still too nice to do this. But it could happen!

P.s.: Just one more. Someone really said this about Yellowstone: “Was extremely underwhelmed. If you want a similar look, just boil a pot of water at home.”

Please, let there never be a Yelp or a Tripadvisor for garden tours originally appeared on Garden Rant on August 9, 2018.


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